Wake Up Call

Have you ever had a sobering wake up call?  Phone alarm goes off at 7:00 AM and you are still a bit tipsy?

Picture it.  June 23rd, 2013.  Wake Forest, NC.  I was going about my day and folding some laundry.  I was sweating like crazy.  This is not something unusual for me, I have always had overactive sweat glands.  Probably has to do with being so overweight, but it is something I have learned to live with.  However, this was way more than normal.  So much so that my wife noted it.  I also had a nasty headache.  I took my temperature and it was 94°.  Argue if you want that the thermometer was broken, but a 2nd thermometer confirmed it and also the first thermometer worked fine when my wife used it.

Off to urgent care!

I was called into the back and this is where I had my sobering wake up call.  They were checking my vitals.  This is what I saw:

Two pounds away from 400 lbs.  HOLY CRAP BALLS!  Granted, I know I am obese, fat, large, etc.  I was just a bit shocked that I was this close to 400 lbs.  I had not been trying to lose weight, but I thought I was maintaining around 380 or so.  I guess that was NOT the case.

Most of you are aware that I have had a lot going on in my life over the past year.  My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 gall bladder cancer, my wife's uncle had a life altering stroke that has changed his life dramatically and my wife and I have been trying to figure out what is best for our relationship and we are currently in a voluntary/therapeutic separation.  I guess all of that stress had caused me to stress eat more than I had thought.

When something like this happens, there are 2 paths one could take.

1. Get depressed and deal with it by my favorite culinary treats and binge to make myself feel better.
2. Buck up and DO something about it.  

There is no doubt that I did want to take option 1, and I am sure that I did this at times for the first few days.  However, this does not fix anything and actually usually makes me feel worse in the long run.

Also, as this was happening I was helping my wife pack up so she could move to NY to be closer to family.  This is also hard to keep your head up knowing your best friend is moving so far away.  But at the same time, this type of behavior is what has lead us to the point we are in our relationship.

So, it was time to put my nose to the grindstone.  I found out this is quite painful.

I managed to get through the move and mind what I was eating most of the time.  I also made an appointment with my nutritionist, mainly for some accountability more than anything.  I KNOW how to eat healthy and lose weight.  It is just about doing it.

I went to see my nutritionist on July 12.  Had a nice discussion with her and I had lost a nice solid 5 lbs.  I was excited, but at the same time I was starting a new chapter in my life without my biggest supporter, my wife.  I had to have a plan so my nutritionist came up with a plan as well as a follow up appointment for the end of August. 

I have spent the past 6 weeks in New York to spend time with my mom for obvious reasons.  My boss was nice enough to let me spend this time there and also to work from there.  I had taken my bike with me to exercise.  I also planned on spending some time at my parents lake place so I was not overwhelming them by spending 6 weeks with them.  Trust me, if I had stayed there for that long, someone would not be making it out alive.  I found out that I love spending time on the water, even if it is in a man powered vessel like a canoe or kayak.  My sister was nice enough to let me bring her kayak down for the past month and have use of it.  I probably canoed/kayaked about 30 miles in the past 6 weeks and rode over 100 miles on my bike.  I also was focused on my meals to be healthier.  Was I perfect every meal for the last month and a half?  HELL NO, but I understand the concept that one single meal will not make a difference.  You can have a "bad meal" every now and again and it will not kill you.  This morning I saw a friend had posted the photo to the right (thanks Scherm!) and it made me smile. Also, if you have a big/bad meal, do not feel bad about it.  Just move on.  That is all you can do.

So, today was the big day with my follow up to see my nutritionist.  What did the big bad scale say?  well, I was happy to see that it said 282.  This is an 11 lb loss over 6.5 weeks and comes out to more than 1.5 lbs lost per week.  Would I like to see more?  HELL YEAH!  But I will take it.  I feel AWESOME.  The night before last I stayed at a hotel and was on the 5th floor.  I went out to test drive a car after I checked in.  When I got back I parked at the end of the hotel and just about ran up 4 flights of stairs.  When I got to the top, wanna know what I was thinking?  You may assume it had to do with being out of breath, or that it was hard work but you would be wrong.  I had not even broken a sweat and I could still breathe fine.  My thought was HOLY COW, I am really dizzy!  Best part of all is that I can live with my meal plan.  It works for me and that is the most important thing of all.

If you are on a "diet" that you hate, it is never going to work.  Sure, sometimes my healthy protein shakes end up as a peanut butter shake if my sweet tooth is killing me (milk, ice, peanut butter and some of my favorite protein powder).  It is not as healthy as a spinach blueberry smoothie, but I can guarantee you it is no where near as bad as a milkshake from a ice cream stand.

So, this is where I am at with my journey.  I feel awesome, and I am hoping to keep this up for as long as necessary.  Hopefully the rest of my life.  That is a long time to think about, but at the same time I just need to take it one meal at a time.  Looking at the big picture is so hard but taking small steps makes it tolerable.